merton's musings

another wise man's thoughts for ya.

sorry for a lack of my own thoughts recently. i have many... just ask my mom. (ha) but i am having a hard time articulating them, especially in a somewhat interesting way.

i have been reading some thomas merton as of late. slow to jump on the bandwagon, i think, but it's better late than never. i have, in my recent circumstances, been trying to find some solace in solitude and i felt that our dear monk friend would be of some guidance. he did, in fact, live all by his lonesome self for a few years and i though that maybe, perhaps he had some wisdom that he was willing to share. his book, new seeds of contemplation, has been somewhat of a companion in this time when compansionship is direly needed.

anywho. this is not from that book but rather from a little moment of mercy i hope not to take for granted.  i found it on an old, beat up piece of card-stock down at the boathouse one random afternoon a few weeks ago. there, in the middle of the crowded, but beautiful mess that is the camp boathouse, i found a little piece of peace and grace, one that has continued to touch my soul in a much needed way.

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and in fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that i am actually doing so. 

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

oh how i hope to live with such peace as merton! to live with such a complete attitude of trust and willingness. i pray that for my life - when the path seems strikingly clear. 

or not so much.

also: i have been consistently listening to this song by JJ Heller. it's incredible. you should to. (i make now promises to the quality of the youtube video... if it's silly, don't watch. this song is worth more than that.)